When a Negative is a Positive

So, way back in elementary school, er-hum, I mean, not so long ago in elementary school, we learned that a negative number multiplied by a negative number equals a positive number. I can’t explain this to you, except to say that the concept will not apply to money. 

For example if I multiply the number of negative checks issued by the number of negative balance they total, the result is anything but positive. Let’s say, what would happen if I  hypothetically paid the mortgage before realizing when all the electronic checks would autodraft? That would mean that five negative checks would be multiplied by their combined negative amount.

Don’t you hate math word problems? So, you know, in the 3^rd grade math world -5 x -1000= 5000.

But, did you know that in the real world -5 checks times a combined total of -$1000 does NOT equal $5,000? Doesn’t the bank understand third grade math? Nope, they say hypothetically it can actually equal a felony. (But, my sordid past is not what I want to talk about today.)

Jokes aside, there are some times in life when negatives can be positive. For example I’m dieting and when the scale said -1.5 pounds that was positively news for celebration. The next day when I gained it all back is an example of when a positive is a negative, and again a topic for another day.

Today’s topic, sorry I made you wait, is celebrating a negative that is truly positive.

I probably have one of the worst family medical histories you can imagine. Diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, heart-attack, stroke, and cancer. My grandmother, three of her siblings, including a twin, as well as one of her daughters, my aunt, all died of cancer. An uncle on the other side of my family has cancer. The big C looms over our family like the shadow of a waiting noose.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my mom is now battling cancer, too. Waiting for more scans to see if the cancer had spread to other organs or her brain, was a mind-wrecking eternity. It brings the focus on inevitable twilight we all face. (Unfortunately, no sparkling, “vegetarian” vampires are going to make us immortal.) Still, we hope to postpone the trip to the coroner as long as possible.

So, what a relief it was to hear the words regarding my mother’s test:  brain scan negative, bone scan negative, organ scan negative. When it comes to fighting cancer a negative truly is a positive; no math needed to figure that out. And no amount of money in the bank can buy the joy that comes from the news.

Maybe you think I’m being frivolous, making light of a serious situation, or sugar coating something tough. No, it’s that math again. Humor is my own personal formula that helps me solve the multiplying negatives that come along in life. I’d be lying if I said I thought that every down has an upside. But today’s does, and I can only live one day at a time. 

Next week's topic—Should there be a worldwide ban on Yo-Yos?